THE LAST BORDER (1993) Review

TODAY'S BARGAIN: THE LAST BORDER (1993) - Standalone DVD
PRICE: $2

Directed by: Mika Kaurismaki
Written by: Mika Kaurismaki, Alexandra Deman, Pia Tikka
Starring: Jurgen Prochnow, Jolyon Baker, Fanny Bastien

THE LAST BORDER has a pretty gnarly looking cover, almost like a throwback to those brilliant trashy Italian post-apocalyptic flicks that were popping up all over the place in the 80s (seriously go look them up there's some sweet shit out there, even Lucio Fulci tried his hand at one). Except it turns out that this film is actually from the 90s and comes from Finland of all places. Is that a good sign? Maybe it gives a fresh perspective on the genre. Or maybe it's just going to suck a huge dick. Read on to find out.
It's the far flung future of 2009 somewhere in the Arctic Circle. The world has been cleansed by nuclear war and as you'd expect the wastelands are ruled by violent motorcycle gangs. Guerilla fugitive Jake (Baker) is on the run when he comes across one of the aforementioned gangs fronted by the fearless leader Duke (Prochnow). He has a slow-motion flashback attack and realizes that Duke killed his father. Revenge time motherfucker.
Oh and there's also the obligatory romance subplot between Jake and the escaped female prisoner Doaiva (Bastien).

THE LAST BORDER carries all of the hallmarks of those classic Italian dystopian films, except that it takes place in Scandinavia with (mostly) Scandinavian actors and its soundtrack seems to be comprised primarily of Finnish heavy metal. Bizarrely this all kind of works to an extent it's just a shame that the film is too long, too slow and too boring. The running time (around 105 minutes) could easily have been cut down and streamlined into something much smoother and the entire middle section probably should have been left out especially the whole relationship between Jake and Doaiva which didn't really go anywhere (a little bit of boobage would have helped immensely). But the worst part was definitely the fact that the inevitable showdown between Jake and Duke (the only thing that really kept me watching through to the end) was a serious anticlimax and could have (and should have) been a lot more action-packed and badass.

But it's not all bad news and the film does have a decent amount of interesting elements to make it at least a little interesting. First is the landscape which isn't your usual post-apocalyptic city ruins or nuclear dustbowl, it's a more barren, cold and earthy environment. The soundtrack is another point of difference as well, instead of the grooving synth and electronica I'm used to hearing in films such as this it's predominantly heavy metal which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.
The things that really hold the movie back are the pacing, the awkward dialogue (I'm certain English isn't the first language of a lot of the actors) and the lack of some really great solid action. Duke's gang are supposedly the most feared group in the wasteland so I was expecting some really depraved shit from them but apart from shooting a couple of people nothing really happened. On the bright side Jurgen Prochnow makes a decent badass, it's a pity he was so underutilized.
THE LAST BORDER isn't great but it certainly is interesting. If you're like me and you dig any kind of post-apocalyptic trash then you should probably check it out, I'll bet you've never seen anything quite like it before.